FanNation

Welcome back, student body.  And what a body it is, sitting at a computer all day eating cheetos and arguing sports.  WARNING: Look at yourself.  You disgust me.

But that's why we're here.  Self improvement, right?

Today we begin with the basics.  What, then, are the ABCs of saying "you suck" in the funniest way possible?  Our staff is ready and able to...well, ready anyway...ready to cram your head so full of knowledge that you'll need to drill a hole in your temple just to get the slightest relief. 

Professors Stowe and Ghost are titans in the field.  Consider yourselves privileged.  I'll leave you to your first class.  Pencils out, everyone!

INTRO TO MOCKING

Morning class, I'm Professor Palpatine and I'm going to teach you how to successfully mock other Fannation members. The first lesson will cover general ideas on what you should mock and 1 very successful example of each.

Team associations - this is probably the easiest thing to mock about someone. Say you notice someone is a Cubs fan. You can always ask them "Why is the Cubs 2008 Calendar so cheap?"....because it doesn't have anything after September in it! HA! Wasn't that funny class?

Overall idiocy: this is also very easy to mock. Idiocy is like porn, you'll know it when you see it. If you're making fun of an idiot, you can say something like, "<insert person's hometown here> called, they would like you to return home and fulfill your village idiot duties today".

The main key to mocking (and not getting reported) is to never cross a line which would be considered being mean (race etc). We, here at FN Clown College in no way want any of you to ever get booted from FN for being mean, so please, when you are out and about around FN, don't be mean, just be funny.

 
Yeah, I know they don't usually have bells in college, smartass.  But it's a blog and we need transition.

Please be seated.  Quickly.  Your next instructor has been known for his...eccentricities, and it would be best to keep on his good side.  Taking notes for this class will be somewhat useless.  In fact, you'll be lucky to walk out of here at all.  But hey....Enjoy!

Oh, and if any of you are still coherent after today, we'll resume classes early next week when I will be introducing you to the fine art of sarcasm. 

INTRO TO INSANITY

Hello all, I will be your new professor for this semester course. I hope you pay attention and takes notes for I do not repeat myself. I am your professor for this course.

The name of the course, you ask? Insanity 01. Why not 101? Because then it would be one hundred and one and since this is the first day, wouldn't make much sense, now would it?

My name to you is meaningless, you will call me by master, chosen one, king, lord, ruler, enlightened, professor, or ghost (You may choose which).

Now on to what's important: So you want to be a clown?

Just an observation...I watched 2girls 1cup video...and then saw all the reaction videos...frankly I don't see what all the hype is about, nor the exagerrated reactions...I mean...you're telling me you never saw something like that?!

You never went into a daycare? With 100 constantly crapping babies and toddlers? A smell so strong your nose gets peirced and traumatized making you lose all sense of smell for 3 days. You never been to one? The unending poop production by these little devils are horrifying...but not only that, no...they don't produce 'em, but play with them. Hundred of babies putting their hands to smell, flinging it off the walls, licking each other's diapers, rubbing all over you... you've never seen that?!
And they come in all shapes and sizes too, but the worst are those liquid ones, that smell like the internal bowels of hell, those are tricky and slippery if you step on it. Those make you cry. Do you imagine the scene?? A daycare room of 100 worst possible craps produced by an animal??

Not to mention the boring, depressed, pathetic, fat, ugly ladies who has a face who's seen too much stained diapers to have any resemblence of joy.

Now THAT is horrible. But anyways, I've side-tracked.

So, YOU want to be a clown?

Well, one of the aspects to become one is the insanity factor...which we will be analyzing in this course.

I am talking about funny insane, like Jim Carry, and not crazy insane like Charles Manson.

Insanity can produce laughter through various means: Language, Image, and various other means I haven't come up with yet.

We will look into these at detail over the next few week, analyzing and dissecting each to what porpuse I don't know. But we will. And you will learn.

I am very happy I can share my wisdom with you, well not really, but that's what Porkins instructed me to say.

In fact he begged me to participate, to give validity to this college. I, at first refused, but after he proposed paying me off his own salary, well, who could refuse?

And here I am, and there you are. I hope this small introduction to Insanity 01 has been productive and instructive to you. I will now be fielding questions, which you may post at the comments section and where I will be answering in next week's class.

Next Week's Subject: Image Factor.

There I'm done....now off to my buddies Capt. Morgan and Mr. Daniels!