Caption this: Cubs edition (updated)

We're sticking with Chicago for today's Caption This non-contest. Those who like the facts should know that the picture depicts Cubs Alfonso Soriano (left), Mark DeRosa (front) and Reed Johnson celebrating Tuesday night's 9-6 win over the Padres.

Please submit a sample caption in the comments section. I'll post some choice cuts this evening.

(UPDATED)

After this week's second very successful Cap This, we're going once again with a Sweet 16 of selections. Man, somebody must be picking great pictures:

“The home plate umpire immediately invoked the infield flamboyance rule.” (Tim in NY)

“One artist's rendition of Ronaldo's wild night.” (Midvalley)

“See, we CAN be pitchers AND belly-itchers.” (buddy&ozzy)

“This game is supposed to be played with bean bags.” (Martel)

“WE DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE THONG ANYMORE!!!” (SDSportsGirl)

“Eeeek! A mouse!” (FGB)

“Chicago Cubs players participate in an early practice for the debut of synchronized baseball at the 2016 Olympics in Chicago.” (chirunner)

“In an effort to break the longest drought in baseball, the Cubs bring in Siamese triplets to cover center field.” (Gilgemesh, also mleonard)

“A perfect example of how real teammates are joined at the hip.” (rock chalk)

“Being outjumped by two white guys, Alfonso Soriano shows why the Dominican Republic doesn't have many representatives in the NBA.” (Uncle Ben)

“The Cubs equipment manager is fired after his failed experiment with Velcro uniforms.” (Kawalski)

“Three Cubbies find the grass still hot after snow was removed with a flame-thrower.” (manta)

“Lamest Mosh pit. Ever.” (Finsterbaby)

“SI Vault -- Many Cubs fans look back at this wildly unnecessary victory celebration over a fourth-place Padres team as the turning point in the Cubs dismal '08 season.” (CavemanHC6)

“Soriano and DeRosa check to see if Reed Johnson's hips do not, in fact, lie.” (Mark G)

“Yay, Kerry Wood didn't get hurt today!” (Jim Shorts, PE Instructor)