Write Your Own Joke contest

Welcome to a star-spangled edition of the Write Your Own Joke (WYOJ) contest, which the Founding Fathers would definitely have entered if only Al Gore had been born two centuries earlier.

As usual, I will supply two potential set-ups. Your task will be to supply the punchlines. Let's get right to the fun:

Topic 1: "The asterisk-branded ball that Barry Bonds hit for career homer No. 756 will be headed to the Hall of Fame after all. __________"

Topic 2: "Alex Rodriguez says he will skip this year's Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium. __________."

Just so there's no confusion, let's review some ground rules. If you plan to submit a punchline to either or both set-ups -- and I hope you will -- please don't read the other comments until you've done so. My concern isn't so much that you'll swipe the ideas of your fellow posters, but that you'll try to avoid using the same lines/concepts as others. Honest duplication is a near certainty in an exercise like this. I'm more concerned that you give your imagination free rein.

I will post a winner and some honorable mention selections for each set-up as tomorrow morning's post. Please don't make me regret the inclusion of an A-Rod set-up.

Comments (422) Add A Comment

July 2, 2008 04:05 PM ET

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A-Rod. He added that he views the home run derby a meaningless exhibition, just like the post-season.

Jim from Milwaukee

Milwaukee , WI

Total Comments (863)

Bonds: Just to be "clear", that's the Steroid Hall of Fame, not the one in Cooperstown.

Martel - Moopsbane

Total Comments (4090)

July 2, 2008 04:06 PM ET

(Bonds) It will be on display next to the jar containing Chris Snyder's altered ball.

Tim in NY

The 'Burbs, NY

Total Comments (2432)

2: Ironically the announcement will be made in the middle of the derby.

Big Willy83

Hoboken , NJ

Total Comments (8)

A-Rod: In a related story, A-rod has chosen to skip the post-season like usual.

Gary The Sox Fan

Berlin , NH

Total Comments (51)

Bonds - At least the ball is not too big to fit through the doors.

A-rod - In related news Pete Rose admitted he never ever bet on who would enter the HR derby.

JMac39 - Major Hit…

New York , NY

Total Comments (407)

July 2, 2008 04:07 PM ET

A-Rod: He made his decision after finding out that any dingers hit in that contest would not count towards padding his official stats.

July 2, 2008 04:08 PM ET

2: A-Rod added "I can only hit homeruns here during regular season games."

(A-Rod) He will, however, stand behind the batting cage and yell "Ha!" after each pitch to distract the participants.

A-Rod: Instead, he will be trying to score at Madonna's home field.

July 2, 2008 04:09 PM ET

1: And Barry wont be.

Bonds: As will the golf ball homerun king, Hank Aaron, was playing when Bonds hit the homerun.

(Bonds) Fortunately Barry won't.

FGB

Neyland Stadium, TN

Total Comments (7426)

July 2, 2008 04:10 PM ET

A-Rod will spend his time that weekend scoring with Madonna

I'll Procrastinate…

Richardson, TX

Total Comments (1971)

July 2, 2008 04:11 PM ET

(A-Rod) Reluctant informant Andy Pettitte refused to comment on whether A-Rod will enter next year's Kentucky Derby.

2: A-Rod said the reason is because of Yankee Statium's 'Shirts Required' policy.

(A-Rod) He will be too busy trying to keep his wife and the mystery blonde from bumping into each other.

July 2, 2008 04:12 PM ET

Topic 1: The confusion arose from Marc Ecko's ill fated attempt to have an asterisk tattooed on Barry's bulbous pate, which he would have also loaned... errrrrrr... donated to the Hall as the other part of a matching set.