Please start sharpening your pencils for this afternoon's Write Your Own Joke contest:
• Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has reportedly been telling recruits that his successor will come from his current coaching staff. In fact, the 81-year-old said he'd be happy to reveal the name, if only he could remember it.
• Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder will be sidelined with a left testicular fracture. Sadly, three teammates are also headed to the DL after spraining their necks while wincing at the news.
• University of Tennessee hoops coach Bruce Pearl has signed a new contract that will average $2.3 million a year through 2014. The school tossed in an extra $100K per when Pearl promised to keep his shirt on.
• Excavation at the Rutgers Stadium expansion has uncovered the remains of a tavern from the 1700s. Interesting. What a clever disguise for the body of Jimmy Hoffa.
• The NBA's referees will now be overseen by a former Army general. Nice call. The general's first move is to buy whistles from an old Pentagon supplier for a mere $50,000 a pop.
• More than 33,000 exterminators have been sent to northern China to battle a locust infestation, lest the insects migrate to Beijing for next month's Olympics. In related news, Sharon Stone says she'll keep sending plagues until China's nicer to the Dalai Lama.
• Chiefs fans have reportedly been instructed not to stand up during home games. The only exception will be for fans craning to get a good look at Brodie Croyle's wife.
Larisa & Marisa Coy
Bar Refaeli
Championship Game Fans
BCS National Championship
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Chiefs fans have reportedly been instructed not to stand up during home games.
Instead they will have to crawl to the concession stand.
BoFett
Total Comments (4311)
The NBA's referees will now be overseen by a former Army general.
Maybe with a little more discipline they will be able to beat Charles Barkley in a footrace.
BoFett
Total Comments (4311)
It would have been more entertaining if the NBA got R. Lee Ermey instead. That's just me though.
Mr Adams
Total Comments (3332)
I did a double take when I saw the headline on this post.
Succession in french means Estate, and since it appears JoePa will be coaching until he drops, is his successor only named in his will?
So will we have the AD and the entire football team in the lawyer's office waiting to see who be given the team as an inheritance?
Is that a taxable gift?
MungoDM
Total Comments (3313)
The NBA's referees will now be overseen by a former Army general. Nice call. The general's first move is to buy whistles from an old Pentagon supplier for a mere $50,000 a pop.
10 Spot
Pete: more Gold!
big west
Total Comments (2724)
http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/211575
Anyone up for some spam?
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Snyder's always had a reputation in the clubhouse as a ballbuster, so the news comes as no real surprise to his teammates.
thehemogoblin: back…
The University Of, OR
Total Comments (29730)
Okay folks, I'm clocking out from w*rk until Monday. If I don't get to check in from home I hope everyone has a happy 4th of July.
BoFett
Total Comments (4311)
??? Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has reportedly been telling recruits that his successor will come from his current coaching staff.
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Paterno only said that there will be two successors one male and the other female. One will come from within the organization and the other from the outside.
manta
Total Comments (5655)
University of Tennessee hoops coach Bruce Pearl has signed a new contract that will average $2.3 million a year through 2014. The school tossed in an extra $100K per when Pearl promised to keep his shirt on.
10 Spot
Coach Pearl will have lots of money to buy necklaces.
big west
Total Comments (2724)
Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has reportedly been telling recruits that his successor will come from his current coaching staff.
Geez.....could one be his own son?
big west
Total Comments (2724)
The NBA's referees will now be overseen by a former Army general.
Hopefully not the man basketball fans refer to as The General. Instead of blowing whistles, refs will call fouls by throwing chairs, choking players, and waving around used TP.
buddy&ozzy
Total Comments (2439)
From previous post - 10. The cast from Chris Snyder's fractured testicle
Is that some new broadway play and the actors don't like baseball so you won't see them in Cooperstown?
Biggles
Farmington , MI
Total Comments (753)
??? Chiefs fans have reportedly been instructed not to stand up during home games. The only exception will be for fans craning to get a good look at Brodie Croyle's wife.
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that 'assumes' that there will actually be fans at KingCarl Stadium...i know they had a 'good' draft and are 'supposed' to be better...but they were so pathetic that it will take a big improvement to approach 'fair to middling' that I don't think it will happen this year. And we have no idea if Brodie is any good in the NFL...if he is a flop, Arrowhead could have plenty of tailgate space by November.
AND...Chiefs fans will not be held down like fans in other venues...or else there will be H E double hockey stix to pay!
gill_
Total Comments (10388)
Instead they will have to crawl to the concession stand.
BoFett | 07/02/08, 02:17 PM
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It's the dollar hot dogs.....
I'll Procrastinate…
Richardson, TX
Total Comments (1971)
Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder will be sidelined with a left testicular fracture.
Pete "That's Why You Should Always Wear A Cup" McEntegart
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Okay, seriously...I've heard of a testicular rupture, but never a fracture. Same thing?
Kari - DaPrez
Geneva , IL
Total Comments (7945)
Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder will be sidelined with a left testicular fracture.
Pete "That's Why You Should Always Wear A Cup" McEntegart
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Okay, seriously...I've heard of a testicular rupture, but never a fracture. Same thing?
Kari - President of Pagination
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I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please.
The 10 Spot
Total Comments (6586)
Okay, seriously...I've heard of a testicular rupture, but never a fracture. Same thing?
Kari
I'd rather not find out right now.. my neck hasn't recovered yet.
Aimless Wonderer
Brooklyn , NY
Total Comments (3101)
Chiefs fans have reportedly been instructed not to stand up during home games. The only exception will be for fans craning to get a good look at Brodie Croyle's wife.
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So while fans are still waiting to see If Brodie will be spectacular, they've already decided his wife is (or 'are'), even if they're not real...
I'll Procrastinate…
Richardson, TX
Total Comments (1971)
Okay, seriously...I've heard of a testicular rupture, but never a fracture. Same thing?
Kari - President of Pagination
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not sure how you have to define each, medically...but pretty sure I know that the pain and suffering betweeen them cannot be differentiated. I had to visit the Dr in college after taking a slapshot to said area...ice may have reduced the swelling but no amount of advil or better could help with the pain...
gill_
Total Comments (10388)
Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder will be sidelined with a left testicular fracture.
In retrospect, he probably should've been nicer to the groupie with hte pointy-toe cowboy boots.
buddy&ozzy
Total Comments (2439)
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