So when's Michael Phelps' next race again?:
• Phelps completed his epic quest over the weekend by winning his seventh and eighth gold medals of these Olympics. That makes him the first Olympian with more gold than the average rapper.
• Jamaica's Usain Bolt dominated the 100 meters with a shockingly easy world record of 9.69 seconds. He was so far ahead that down the backstretch he had time to pound his chest, wave to the crowd and solve the Russia-Georgia crisis.
• China's He Kexin beat American Nastia Liukin for the gold medal in uneven bars today even though they scored an identical 16.725. The judges gave Kexin the gold based on Beijing's new tiebreaker -- the threat of imprisonment.
• As for the super-petite He, she said her second gold of these games far exceeds her wildest dreams. In fact, all she wanted for these Olympics was her two front teeth.
• Alicia Sacramone, alas, finished just out of the medals with a fourth place in the vault. On the bright side, her pugilistic prowess should land her the lead in Gymkata 2.
• Joe Gibbs Racing was caught cheating over the weekend by placing magnets under the gas pedals. NASCAR officials got suspicious when the cars kept dragging along Don Zimmer's head.
• Grumpy Dodgers second baseman Jeff Kent says legendary broadcaster Vin Scully "talks too much." Man, that jerk better wash out his truck with soap.
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Joe Gibbs Racing was caught cheating over the weekend by placing magnets under the gas pedals.
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In an unrelated story, Gibbs new sponsor will be 'Beano'.
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
Total Comments (5561)
Jamaica's Usain Bolt dominated the 100 meters with a shockingly easy world record of 9.69 seconds.
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Usain's brother, Lightning, still beats him every time.
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
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Usain's brother, Lightning, still beats him every time.
Rickapolis
"Lightning" is Usain's nickname actually..
Aimless Wonderer
Brooklyn , NY
Total Comments (3101)
Alicia Sacramone, alas, finished just out of the medals with a fourth place in the vault. On the bright side, her pugilistic prowess should land her the lead in Gymkata 2.
Given how things fell out, she should probably have competed in the US Olympic Boxing team this year as well.
Aimless Wonderer
Brooklyn , NY
Total Comments (3101)
"Lightning" is Usain's nickname actually..
Aimless Wonderer
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A perfect example of letting facts get in the way of a good joke.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (4090)
"Lightning" is Usain's nickname actually..
Aimless Wonderer | 08/18/08, 02:42 PM
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That seems pretty low, for facts to mess up my attempt at a joke.
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
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Drat Martel.
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
Total Comments (5561)
I retract my comment, and yield to the gentleman from Annapolis.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (4090)
Joe Gibbs Racing was caught cheating over the weekend by placing magnets under the gas pedals.
I'm sorry, were the drivers just a bit too timid on the gas pedal? Were the magnets intended to make these Nancy-boys drive faster?
gc - Chairman of the…
Total Comments (298)
I wouldn't think Jeff Kent would get to hear Vin Scully's broadcasts. Shouldn't he be playing? Or does he DVR the games and watch them later without hitting the <mute> button?
Mr Adams
Total Comments (3332)
FGB - I responded
Lolly
Lilburn , GA
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Jeff Kent should show respect for his elders--since he'll be that age himself in just a couple years...
gill_
Total Comments (10388)
Over/under for Bolt failing the drug test: 4.2 days
BKJ - no 10 Spot, no…
Jacksonville , FL
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I wonder if Nastia Liukin has a nickname. Give me a few seconds to try and come up with one...
Mr Adams
Total Comments (3332)
Phelps completed his epic quest over the weekend by winning his seventh and eighth gold medals of these Olympics.
His next epic challenge will be downing enough Wheaties to match his typical 4,000-calorie breakfast.
Mark G
Richmond , VA
Total Comments (6103)
Over/under for Bolt failing the drug test: 4.2 days
Brian K Jones | 08/18/08, 02:49 PM
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Yes, but it will probably be for ganja.
Mark G
Richmond , VA
Total Comments (6103)
. . . The judges gave Kexin the gold based on Beijing's new tiebreaker . . .
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The tiebreaker was due to the Bulgarian judge's vote . . . and we've seen how skillfully they approach their work . . .
Tom, ALRanger
Richardson , TX
Total Comments (2323)
His next epic challenge will be downing enough Wheaties to match his typical 4,000-calorie breakfast.
Mark G
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If successful, he will set the record for fastest transformation from Olympic hero to just a regular guy.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (4090)
Jeff Kent'll be lucky to make 50.
BKJ - no 10 Spot, no…
Jacksonville , FL
Total Comments (5679)
I retract my comment, and yield to the gentleman from Annapolis.
Martel - Moopsbane | 08/18/08, 02:44 PM
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Thank you for calling me a gentleman.
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
Total Comments (5561)
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