FanNation

Game 1, The Georgia Southern Eagles-what to expect

I can't believe how exciting it is to be able to say that Georgia's first game will be played NEXT MONTH.   August 30, and it will be here before you can say "I hate Spurrier."  This game tends to get overhyped, probably because some people still fantasize that it is some sort of intrastate rivalry.  It is not.  It is a beatdown for Georgia Southern, as it should be.  But don't let that deter you from going out and supporting the Bulldawgs.  A word of warning: this is one of what I like to call the "summer games", because they are uh, actually played in the summer.  The on field temperature should be in the 350-400 degree range.  Sanford Stadium is actually the world's largest solar oven.  The afternoon/evening sun beats directly on the visitor section and its super reflective aluminum bench seating, sending temperatures soaring up into the 150 degree range.  So wear your Mark Richt bulldawg hats and plenty of sunscreen.  For all the women ages 18-40, under 120lbs, the standard attire this year will be a red bikini top and black shorty short shorts. And feel free to tie a red and black ribbon in your hair, and paint a bulldawg on your pretty face.  For the men, it is ok to do the red/black body paint, symettrically down the middle.  For the very hairy dudes like me,  it is good to shave a giant "G"  on your chest or belly.  I am also planning a "UGA" on the back. 

North Avenue Trade School (know your enemy , part IV)

I'm a nervous wreck from Georgia Tech and a Geeky Engineer.  A geeky, geeky, geeky, geeky, geeky engineer. In one hand is my slide rule, in the other is a beer.  Oh, an geeky, geeky, geeky, geeky, geeky en-gin-neer.  Clear whiskey, white and gold, blah blah blah blah.

Georgia Tech is one of the top 5 most miserable on campus experiences in America.  Concrete locked and poorly laid out (yes, they have a school of architecture), the campus is a mix of old and older buildings placed as inconveniently apart and incaccessible as the land allows. Many of the dorms are a very long walk across a concrete track from a failed trolley experiment to the classroom buildings.  Water stands in puddles after each rain. The street people of Atlanta have free access to the campus. There is inadequate on campus housing.  The student body are all a bunch of nerds that are named Mike, Scott, or Bill.  Like most techies, they have zero courtesy or social skills.  They have about 10 coeds.  Five of those like other girls, 3 are fat, and the other 2 are married Asian grad students.  They make students take 5 or six classes per term, and one alway has to be a laboratory class. The other classes are all weeders, which means the professors are trying to make you flunk out.  Many do.  There is no student parking. Parking on the street means your car will get robbed.  If you ride a bike, you have to lock every removable part, or it will get stolen. They only have commom bathrooms in the dorms.

Wareagletigerplainsmen (know your enemy, part III)

It's the Deep Fried South's oldest rivalry.  115 years of slobber-knockin', blood lettin',  lick passin' , bad blood,  fierce competition.  I am talking about UGA vs. Auburn.  Both charter members of the SEC.  My readers asked for more of these type blogs, and, as I like to keep them both happy, here it is. More stream-of-consciousness, unedited, un proof read, and unreliable material from your boy.  

Why it's ok to hate the Gaytors (know your enemy, part II)

We sure do hate us some UF at UGA.  It is pretty easy to do so.  Here is a brief listing:

THE MASCOT: An American alligator. A big , ugly creature, with a very tiny brain.  Very lazy, spends most of the time floating or sunning on the banks of stagnant bodies of water. Favorite foods: rotten meat, beloved pets.  Stinks of decay.

THE FANS: Very few own a shirt, and dress accordingly at the games. Rough, tobacco picking heritage lends itself to a raucous, obnoxious, rude, abrasive, drunken fan base. Tend to overestimate the value of a UF degree and the prowess of their teams.  Primarily bleeding heart liberal hippies. Don't taze me, bro.

Putting Smokey to Sleep (Know your Enemy, Pt. 1)

We sure do hate us some UT at the University of Georgia.  Those big old orange "T's" are garish and ugly. What we hate worse than that is losing to them.  The handsome fellow in the pic above is the head football coach.  He has a real knack for recruiting top ranked classes, and then going 8-4 with them.  He has god status because he won a national title in '98. Peyton Manning played there.  Peyton did not win a national title.  In 4 years, Peyton won one SEC title. That's it.  Sure, he doesn't care, he has a Super Bowl ring.  But his replica jerseys sure do buy a lot of bologna for the head coach.  Speaking of bologna, what is that coach telling these guys that makes them want to play at UT?  It is a hillbilly college.  Don't believe me? Have you ever heard the lyrics to the UT fight song, "Rawky Tawp?" It is about murderous, moonshine running, hebephilic, impoverished hillbillies.  Let's take a look, shall we?

Rocky Top

Wish that I was on ole rocky top,