FlyMaster's Blog

Kimbo Slice - Portrait of New Age Negritude

Internet sensation turned MMA fighter, Kimbo Slice, is quickly becoming one of MMA's top draws for all the wrong reasons.  Slice, aka Kevin Ferguson, carved out his path to fame by participating in numerous backyard brawls and scraps where he routinely beat up ex-cons, nefarious thugs, and other sordid characters.  Slice's "promoters" in the early days were a cast of porn producers and pseudo hip-hop record entrepreneurs.  This was the perfect combination for YouTube success.

Marvin Harrison Bustin' Caps!

Indianapolis Colts receiver, Marvin Harrison, is under investigation for a shooting that occured at his tavern in Philadelphia.  Evidently, a local drunk came in and caused a ruckus, but Marv wasn't having it.  He beat the man up.  As one witness put it, "Marvin has hands of a ninja."  Nice.  Story not over.  Marv took it to the next level when he followed the man outside and allegedly a shooting took place.  The identity of the shooter remains a mystery, but the .50 caliber used in the action belongs to Harrison.  .50 caliber?  That's a big gun for a big town.  Harrison always seemed like the calm, soft-spoken receiver especially when compared to TO and Moss, but don't mess with Marv or he'll bust a cap and give you the dirt nap.

RIP - Dr. Albert Hoffman - Inspiration to All Hippie Sports

It is with a heavy, rainbow-colored, scaly, butterfly-shaped heart that the FlyMaster must report the death of Dr. Albert Hoffman.  Hoffman, better known as the inventor of LSD, or Acid as you may have, passed away in Switzerland at the age of 102.  What, you ask, does this have to do with sports?  A fine query.  One that merits answers.  Dr. Hoffman's mind-altering hallucinogen is the sole inspiration for the leisure sports of frisbee, hacky sack, competitive whirling in circles, marathon dancing to the Grateful Dead and Phish, long winded poetry delivered while sprinting naked through the hallways of your mother's house, and fearful stalking of your own restroom because the Lord and Savior appear in the crevaces of a dirty towel lying strewn about the floor.  Dr. Hoffman's gifts to the world's consciousness and hippie sports cannot be underestimated.

Randy Moss NASCAR Entrepreneur

Randy Moss unveiled plans for his upcoming move to NASCAR's Craftsman Truck Series.  Moss is putting together a motorsports team.  Hallelujah!  Moss is crossing over the great divide.  At the press conference a correspondent from The Birmingham Sentinel asked how did Moss plan on funding the project.  Moss' answer..."Straight Cash Homie."

Who would have thought Moss was a Cale Yarborough fan?  This is just the latest in a long list of unexpected athlete crossover endeavors.  Here are some that slipped through the cracks.

Zaza Pachulia - Destroyer of the KG Bully

We live, we grow old, and the more we grow older the more the lessons learned at the local park or elementary school playground become more poignant.  Case in point; the subject of bullies.  Conventional wisdom has parents telling kids, "if you're bullied, go tell a person of authority and they will take care of the bully."  That works about 14.5% of the time.  How about this one?  "Stand up and say no, and tell the bully to stop."  That's some of the lamest schtick a kid could do.  Nope, there is one time-honored way to confront the bully, and that's by stepping up to the plate and handling them with equal fire and letting them know "I'll punk you back."